How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: The Scorpion and the Toad

"If you’re going to go back to him maybe cannot be in your vocabulary."

As it turns out Lily had a pretty crappy summer too.  Her art fellowship wasn’t everything she had hoped for, San Francisco couldn’t hold a candle to New York, and she had lost Marshall.  As it turns out, it was a mistake.  

Marshall, meanwhile, seems to be moving on wonderfully (despite getting cockblocked by Barney at every turn).  When he sees Lily he is finally at a point where he can tell her no.  Because for their relationship to truly work out this time, they need to continue figuring out who they are outside of Marshmallow and Lilypad.

Stray Observations:

  • I also love lists.  This episode brings us the boys thinking up candy related names for women’s breasts.
  • A bad ass day is not the same as a bad ass day.
  • "Ted found a penny on the subway and it’s old and that’s interesting."
  • I too have a weakness for tequila.
  • Lily’s hats.

Tomorrow: Brunch and Ted Mosby: Architect 

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Where Were We?

"The only thing that can really heal a broken heart is time."

Marshall’s been dumped.  His perfect girl up and left him because she wasn’t quite ready for the kind of commitment that it takes to marry somebody and spend the rest of your life with them.  And so he spends the whole summer moping about.

Ted and Robin on the other hand, are in the honeymoon phase of their relationship.  Spending all their time together and being generally sickeningly adorable.  I enjoy the contrast (and yet the similarities) between Robin and Ted’s relationship and Marshall’s moping.

Stray Observations:

  • The first bad wig sighting!  I love bad wigs.
  • Lily seeing the rest of the gang having an actual good time without her is heartbreaking.  Please don’t make me watch Alyson Hannigan be sad.
  • We used to do Pancakes Day on Sundays when I was in college.
  • Marshall’s fear of ferrets

Next: The Scorpion and the Toad.

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Come On

"I made it rain! That’s what I did today!"

And so the season ends on both a high and a low note.  Ted made his last big romantic gesture to try and win Robin over.  He won’t take no for an answer and so he makes it rain.  He makes it rain for Robin.  And his persistence pays off.  She’s won over.

But as he makes his way home the next morning, he finds Marshall sitting on their front steps, in the rain, engagement ring in hand.  Lily’s finally decided that she has to follow her dream to San Francisco.  She’s not ready to be tied down.  And Marshall doesn’t want to wait around for the whole summer just to find out that he doesn’t fit in her life anymore.

Stray Observations:

  • The argument pauses.
  • Amy Acker!!!!!!!
  • "Lobster lobster lobster you are delicious."  Do you love it more than all the other fishes, Lily?

Tuesday: Where Were We?  and The Scorpion and the Toad

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Milk

"There are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to really know it’s a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say ‘yup, that was a mistake.’"

Lily’s really having second thoughts now and possibly even third and fourth thoughts.  And after Victoria went to Germany to follow her dream, Lily decided to see if she was even able to follow hers.  Sure it’s a mistake to put her and Marshall’s fantastic relationship in jeopardy but it’s a mistake that she had to make because she can’t spend her whole life wondering if it was really a mistake or not.

And so her speech about mistakes inspires Ted to make his mistake.  Robin is the opposite of everything Ted wants in a girl.  She’s wildly independent, hates all Ted’s favorite douche-y things, and wants zero kids.  Any relationship with Robin would have a expiration date stamped on it as soon as it started.  But Ted has to make that mistake.  Otherwise he would spend his entire life with the perfect girl wondering if the perfect girl wasn’t actually Robin all along.

Stray Observations:

  • The Playbook: Barney’s fell from heaven “pick-up line” complete with fake EMTs.
  • "Oh god, is that a drifter with a hook for a hand?  No drifter, no!"
  • Robin’s highlights are awful.
  • I too like to touch hot plates for no good reason.
  • "More like Love in the Time of Don’t Bother-a

Next: Come On.

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Best Prom Ever

"You can still travel.  You can still paint.  And as for your big lesbian experience…" 

Lily’s been having her doubts for awhile now.  The only problem was, she didn’t know she was having doubts.  But now as her wedding draws surprisingly near they’ve reared their ugly head.

Lily’s afraid of becoming that old married lady who gave up all her dreams for a guy.  She’s afraid that she’s becoming that old lady far too early in her life.  She may tell Robin that her fears have gone after their bathroom…talk.  But they’re not gone.  They’re lurking just beneath the surface.

Stray Observations:

  • Don’t worry Lily, I don’t want to get old before my time either.  Nobody does.  Except maybe Ted.
  • Robin and Ted are talking again!
  • Scooter!
  • "It is on like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan."
  • Marshall, really like The 88 too.  Let’s you and I get married.
  • "You’re going to make such a great dad."
  • The kiss that bore Lily’s Robin crush.

Tomorrow: Milk and Come On 

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Mary the Paralegal

"C’mon.  If you don’t laugh it just seems mean."

Ted and Robin are still at odds after the last episode.  Ted really screwed up and now he has to pay for it.  By watching Robin go with Sandy…Rivers to the Local Area Media Awards.

And so he takes Mary who is awesome.  And totally not a prostitute.  But he’s so confident that she goes up to a hotel room with him.  On the first date.

Apparently that was the lesson in all this.

Stray Observations:

  • Telepathic conversations
  • "Really?  I couldn’t imagine you cranky."
  • "For anyone else this would be a new low.  But sadly for you this is just a new middle."
  • "I used her lipstick."

Next: Best Prom Ever

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.

"When it’s after 2 A.M. just go to sleep"

Ted’s mom has got a point.  The decisions you make after 2 A.M. are usually the wrong ones.  Take this from someone who has made plenty of wrong decisions after 2 A.M.

Ted also makes a terrible decision.  He lets his feelings for Robin cloud his judgement.  She’s what he’d wanted all along.  It’s becoming obvious that he and Victoria aren’t meant to be so what does it matter if he jumps the gun a little for a woman he might marry?  It matters a whole lot.

Robin’s not entirely off the hook either.  She called Ted after 2 A.M. because she’d had one of those days.  And an entire bottle of wine.  She didn’t even know if Ted and Victoria are broken up.

Moral of the story?  Nothing good happens after 2 A.M.

Stray Observations:

  • Sandy Rivers!
  • "Wine not?"
  • Lily kicking Korean Elvis in the nards is pretty awesome.
  • Barney’s convinced that good things do happen after two.  The only thing I have to say is those legendary things probably come from bad decision making.
  • I’ve just started season 3 of Warehouse 13 and all I can think is Ashley Williams with a southern accent.

Next: Mary the Paralegal and Best Prom Ever

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Life Among the Gorillas

"It’s like I’m trying to preserve something that’s already gone."

This episode and the next one work really well as one extended story.  This episode introduces Ted’s deal but focuses more on Marshall’s package.

Marshall’s trying to make money so that he can give Lily (and their future family) everything.  He wants Lily to be able to follow her dream.  For that he needs money.  But the guys he works with are huge jerks so in order to not hate his job he tries to fit in.  But money and apartments and quitting her job aren’t why Lily’s with Marshall.  He’s just got to realize that.

Stray Observations:

  • "Screw those guys.  We’re adorable."
  • "I’m pretty sure that’s peer pressure.  We have an assembly every year."
  • "Listen I’ve been thinking.  Nutter Butters are an underrated cookie."
  • Alyson Hannigan have you become a slightly better singer since Buffy?  Maybe but she still sings a minimal amount.
  • Being a good singer is like cheating at karaoke.
  • Scarlett Johansson over Angelina Jolie any day.
  • Go.

Next: Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Cupcake

"To be honest, there’s a lot of lonely nights with that job description."

And the pieces start to move forward again.  Victoria’s super important dessert scholarship in Germany forces both her and Ted’s hands.  Is Victoria Ted’s “One”?  Is Ted Victoria’s?  There are excellent arguments to be made for both sides.  If Victoria stays for Ted will she just end up resenting him?  And what if she leaves and he is “The One”.  It’s a big decision.

She inevitably decides to go because it is a super important dessert scholarship (really hard to say that without sounding sarcastic).  They do, however, get to spend one last day together going to museums and The Met and the bridge and…actually they just spent all day in bed.  

They decide to try long distance but as Future Ted will inform us as Victoria gets on the plane, long distance is a bad idea.

Stray Observations:

  • Lily tries on some truly awful wedding dresses.
  • Victoria’s acceptance of the culinary fellowship definitely plays into Lily’s arc in a few episodes.
  • "Don’t tell me how much it costs.  Just snap my neck now so I can die this pretty."
  • Lily’s credit card…s
  • Marshall is looking fine in his new suit.
  • Just FYI, Marshall is my TV character crush.

Tomorrow: Life Among the Gorillas and Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.

How I Met Your Mother Rewatch: Game Night

"Suit Up."

Finding out about Barney’s past is a revelation.  It gives a hilarious back story to the player we have come to love.  And that back story is exactly why it’s so easy to love such a womanizing man-whore.  Beneath all the suits and the awesome, he’s a big ole softie.

Also in this episode Victoria finds out about Ted’s feelings for Robin and the fact that he once “re-returned” for her.  That’s about to become a huge part of Ted and Victoria’s relationship, no matter how perfect it is.

Stray Observations:

  • Victoria’s story must have been pretty awesome.
  • Never not funny: The way Granola Barney says Nicaragua.
  • Marshgammon and the introduction of Marshall’s gaming prowess.
  • The final unveiling of newly suited up Barney has Darth Vader undertones.  Awesome.

Next: Cupcake